Forgiveness

Forgiveness. That was the message today at church. Talk about squirming in the pew. Me. Number one squirmer. Everyone has their hangups in life...mine is forgiveness. I carry hurt words and feelings around. I don't hate people, I just don't let things roll off my back. Those memories build and harden my heart. I think I've let the hurt go and then the next time I feel wronged or hurt, all the other things I perceive that person did to me comes back...yep, never let it go in the first place. Yes, I believe I haven't forgiven people because I think I was deeply wronged by a couple of people in my life and even uttering their name brings a flood of hurt and anger. Yep, been carrying that for years. Then, there's the people that just annoy me. Sadly, that list is long. When people don't wave or smile after I've made the effort, I just run and tell Micah or whomever will listen, "You know 'ole so and so didn't wave/smile/say hello..." Basically, I'm saying ugly things about people because I haven't forgiven them and that is the way of "getting back" at them. Well, I'm going to work on forgiveness. I think it will feel freeing. Why would I want to carry the weight around? It certainly doesn't make me feel better. Dr. Hart said he believes, based on scripture in Job, that when you truly forgive you can pray for that person with sincerity. When was the last time you prayed for your enemies...I'd rather not type the answer the last...

Much love,